My Mind

Lately I’ve been listening to Tony Robbins tapes and I am hearing things as though it’s the very first time. I’ve gone through his Personal Power program a couple of times and completed the program following the directions of a lesson a day. This time I am listening to each lesson over and over and over until I feel completely ready to move on.

There’s a long enough list of reasons I have been carrying around justifying how I see the world. Sarah Palin! Can you believe it! What a put-down!

I really have better things to do. Despite the somewhat brief periods of falsely feeling powerful and superior as I judge whoever for whatever reason, I really have better things to do. There are experts who are running the Obama campaign, and my jumping up and down and screaming for justice isn’t going to help things a bit.

There are plenty of people in the world who don’t seem to understand that they are no better than anyone else, and who are willing to treat others in a deceitful way as though it’s their right. If you’re someone who likes to trust people, this can be painful.

The other day I asked a business person about a product where a person with bad credit can hire an attorney to approach creditors and make them prove that whatever is on the persons credit report is real. The idea is that enough of these companies will not want to go through the trouble of producing the history of the persons account and will have to remove evidence of the delinquency from the persons credit report. I asked what he thought of how ethical this practice is. He replied that it wasn’t ethical of the credit bureaus to make any errors, so they are just getting paid back.

Needless to say, I am not going to subscribe to this organization. 

There’s something about chasing the buck for me that usually puts me deep in a hole. But when I just work, just do my job honestly, my needs are taken care of. When I compare numbers with someone and I think I should have so much or make so much, I slide into that hole.

Years ago I knew someone who made 2-3 times what I did, yet this person had a fraction of my disposable income. There wasn’t much to show for where the money went, either, and I couldn’t understand why anyone would put themself into a position of stress over money. I think money is really devalued by so many people.

During some political program, a woman said she had just learned that she lived in poverty. She never thought of herself as poor, she lived within her means and wasn’t unhappy or worried about the state of her life.

In the Reagan years, a statistic floated around saying that 20% of the people driving BMW’s were able to afford them.

Tony Robbins talks about managing your state. Keeping things simple and real keeps my feet on the ground.

I cannot change the political outcome of this election, of how people see the candidates, of the untruths people believe. I cannot change who I really am by pretending I have something that will make people respect me. I lose myself that way.

I can do a few simple, but not always easy, things that will help me to become better. That’s become better, which doesn’t translate to immediately feel better. Although sometimes that happens, too. When my mind wants something of you, wants you to see me a certain way, I’m either about to take that slide into that hole, or am already so buried in the gunk I’m not sure which way is out.

Fortunately, there are other ways to live, and I remember that it is I living my life. Thank God for free choice!

keeping up the blog

Any one else looking for work? The industry I am currently in is going through tremendous changes, and I truly hope no one else is negatively affected, either in the industry or as a result of any transactions.

For me, though, the question has been stay or leave for a while. The answer is in the question. Helping people is such a great way to go through life. There’s something about this business (or some of the people in it) that I just don’t click with.

I am not sure where I am headed, but would love to be completely on my own, again. I also love working with other people, when there’s an environment of respect. That shouldn’t be too hard to find. Communication is key, and honesty.

Being able to ask someone something and have them respond in a way that keeps the conversation going until there’s a mutual understanding can cure the world’s ills. Something just happened with a couple of friends that reminded me of this. As one says, it’s an itch I can’t quite scratch. Relationships change, and that’s fine. We’re all here to take care of ourselves, and if that means cutting someone out for some reason, don’t pretend you’re not doing that. It makes people crazy to give them mixed messages. That applies to business relationships as well as friendships.

I’ve spent so many hours in sales trainings that teach how to not let that happen, to have up front contracts with people that allow them to freely leave and do business elsewhere. The agreement is that they will tell me that they are going, and that it will be fine. Clients have left and not one has announced that they were leaving. All of the time, not to mention the money, put into training and seminars and paying attention to someone’s website and constant messages, when I could just be working and being productive. Alright, there are things to learn from these pros, and sometimes I look back at some of this stuff and wish I had not done what they’ve suggested. Something about spending 5 or 6 grand on a system, and wanting to believe it’s the magic key…I think I’ve learned my lesson. Not to say I won’t attend seminars or join organizations again, I will. I will not blindly do something that I’ve been told to do. I know I lost one of my best clients by stupidly phoning him from a seminar and asking for a referral. This is what we were told to do by the host. Once I had my client on the phone I felt like a total jerk. This was not the way to do it, personally unprepared, the seminar’s system too generic to work. 

Went to another seminar a couple of weeks ago, and thought the guy was great! It has happened before that the first half of the seminar seems flawless, and I can’t wait to sign up. What is it about the second half, that there is some strange, slight inconsistancy, some story that makes you want to say, ’wait, you’re blowing it’. This recent one went into a personal story that would have been profound had I not already heard that personal story at another seminar, by another company person selling a different system.  Last time that happened, the second half goof, I bought anyway and obviously haven’t forgotten about it, and am no longer a member there, either.

So, the point? I really get it that it is my, and only my, responsibility to take care of me. No one else is going to do it. To get what I want there very well may be a more direct route than passing the Go of the newest star in the market and passing out a few K for promises from them that only I can fulfill.